There is something that really bugs me when I join a new Skool community. After being in there for a few days, the owner will usually reach out and ask me to come and formally introduce myself… so I do, and then I get asked to delete half my post because I am talking about myself! 😂
Recently, I spent a good amount of time crafting a post for another Skool community. I put a lot of effort, wisdom, and thought into it. I never “farm” groups for members, I never use low-effort AI copy-paste crap, and I always ensure my posts are fun, engaging, and genuinely helpful. At the end, I included a polite, highly contextual link about what I was doing.
Within minutes, I got a message from the admin: “𝗛𝗶 𝗔𝗱𝗮𝗺! 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀. 𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘂𝗽.”
Of course, I politely removed it, but it sparked a serious question: 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝘂𝗽?
I understand why community owners create these rules. If you let one person slip a link in, there is a fear that everyone will do it, turning the community into a giant, spammy billboard. Nobody wants to join a group just to be siphoned off or sold to.
Someone recently compared self-promotion to walking into another owner’s cafe and loudly handing out flyers for your own cafe. And I agree – that is shitty behavior.
But what I am talking about isn’t handing out flyers.
It’s more like being a regular customer in that cafe, chatting with the locals. The conversation steers towards cars, and somebody says, “My car is making a bit of a knocking noise.” If I say, “Well, I’ve got a garage across the road, I can take a look at that for you,” it makes zero sense for the cafe owner to kick me out for mentioning it.
Relevancy and context are everything.
At the end of the day, we are all here to 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲 and make some cash. But the relationship in so many of these spaces has become entirely one-sided. The unspoken rule is: “Come and give my community all of your high-level value for free, but don’t you dare talk about yourself!”
Success isn’t a pie that we can only take a single slice from. There is plenty for everyone, and success breeds success.
In our community, Start a Business with No Money, we have the exact opposite problem. New members arrive so battered and conditioned by these restrictive “no promo” rules that they are terrified to talk about themselves! We constantly have to ask them: “What’s your community link? Please share it! What’s your website?”
We want our Builders to share what they are working on, because they are the heartbeat of our clubhouse…
When @Clare Goodall finally got her digital products website live after sitting on it waiting for it to be perfect, we wanted to see the link and celebrate it!
When @Miri Campell launched her free 5-day challenge to help coaches get clients, she dropped her link and we rallied behind the massive value she was offering.
When our Community Collaborator @Heather Boers hosted her “Crush On Biz Income” event, she shared the registration link freely so everyone could benefit.
In my opinion, that is what a real exchange of value looks like.
If you are a community owner, take a hard look at your rules. Are you protecting your members from spam, or are you just suffocating the genuine collaboration and passion that makes a community worth participating in?
Set boundaries. Demand context. But stop gagging the people who are actually bringing value to your table. Let people share what lights them up.
𝗜’𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀…
